I like this British idiom. It seems to mean giving someone leave to go and do something in particular. An informal, but not unkind way to indicate that if one is prepared for a particular action, then one should go ahead and begin.
So off i go…
I’ll be spending this year concentrating on small, significant lifestyle tweaks that are intended to improve my health and well-being. Not just mental and emotional, but physical too. My physical health has consistently taken a back seat to my other issues, but i intend to make it a priority this year. I tried to last year, but i just didn’t have enough good brain days to make it work. Now, i finally have some decent experience with managing my mental issues, and i’ve been able to live months (MONTHS!) without any significant chaos or mental hiccoughs.
Don’t get me wrong, life still happens. I have a particularly large issue that finally required my complete attention last year. I’ve been in the shit ever since because of it, and after a year of quietly and calmly dealing with it, it’s clear that it’s not going anywhere, anytime soon. And just to make things interesting, another issue is surfacing, one that may prove particularly challenging, and one that holds the potential for a lot of short-term drama. Whee.
I’m implementing two small changes to my lifestyle today. One is that i intend to go for a walk outside every day. No matter the weather and no matter the company, and regardless of whether i’m on the treadmill or elliptical that day. I live in a beautiful place, where i’m very fortunate not to have to see people regularly. I’m also most fortunate to have furry companions that love to go for walkies. I already take them out fairly regularly, but it’s one of the first things to go when i’m feeling low. Physical exercise and being outdoors have both been proven in multiple peer-reviewed, scientific studies to have a positive effect on mental illness, both in prevention of onset symptoms and treatment should symptoms occur. So that’s pretty clearly a beneficial addition to my daily schedule.
The second thing is no eating after 9pm. Pure suckage here, but it’s an absolute no-brainer. I’ve been a nighthawk my entire life, and i’m trying to transition slowly into a more regular schedule. It’s been tough. Daytime means people and normalcy and nighttime means alone and as strange as i wanna be. There are all kinds of studies out that show some initial support for certain kinds people having legitimate reasons for keeping late hours, but they aren’t definitive, and even if they were i wouldn’t care. I want to experience life as a Daywalker. I may actually like it – hell, i might even prefer to live amongst the living. Heh.
Of course it’s not just the matter of my circadian rhythms. Food and weight have been an issue since i was 8yrs old. There were many nights that i ate myself into a coma and woke with one helluva hangover. And although i haven’t lived like that for over a decade, my weight has crept back up due to mental illness, medication, and yes, complacency. I’ve addressed the illness, and my medications levels may always require adjustment, but it’s time to require more of myself with regards to eating. Nothing to eat after 9pm will encourage me to go to bed at a reasonable hour, and it should also keep me from more than one after supper snack. Plus, my brain seems to be really grooving on a regular schedule. I think i might thrive on rules and regimens. Rules and regimens that are mine, made by me, of course. Because screw you – i do what i want.
Oh and by the way, life has thrown me a super suckass curve ball today. Just its way of welcoming me to the neighbourhood. Life can be a real asshole. Still and all, i’m gonna finish my tea, put on a sweater, and take my fuzzbuddies for a walk.